


Learning

by AngelynMoon



Series: Gone [3]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Attempting Dwarrow Culture, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Past Miscarriage, Past Mpreg, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 06:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10531119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelynMoon/pseuds/AngelynMoon
Summary: Summary: Thorin learns about his son. VERSION 2 (Thorin is Alive)





	

Summary: Thorin learns about his son. VERSION 1 (Thorin is Alive)

\-----

Thorin walked through the Shire with hesitence, it had been almost five years since Bilbo had left Erebor, and he wasn't sure of the wlecome he would rerecieve.

It had taken five years for him to be able to leave Erebor with confidence that it would still be standing when he returned. His sister, Dis,would be able to handle things in his absence, however long it took.

After his time here in the SHire her would need to continue on to Ered Luin and he hoped that Bilbo would accompany him.

Thorin stopped at the gate that surrounded Bag-End, the sounds of merryment echoing through the night and shadows danced in the lights taht lit up the Hobbit hole.

But it was the shadowed figure that exited the Hobbit Hole drew his attention.

Thorin entered the Gate and walked around, following the figure as they came to an area lit with carved lanterns, sheets of thin gem stones allowing the light to shine through, giving the area a soft glow of blue and green and sitting near a lantern of blue sapphires was Bilbo surrounded by blooming flowers.

"Bilbo." Thorin whispered.

Bilbo startled and looked at Thorin and Thorin saw tears fill his eyes.

"Thorin." Bilbo returned.

But Bilbo stayed where he was, his hand upon the stine that the flowers were planted around.

"I have missed you." Thorin said as he came to kneel next to Bilbo.

Bilbo suddenly began sobbing and buried his face in his free hand.

"Bilbo." Thorin said, reaching to hold him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Bilbo sobbed into Thorin's chest as Thorin drew him into his arms.

"Shh, all is well."

Bilbo shook his head and his body shook with his sobs.

Bilbo pulled away, "I thought you were dead, Fili and Kili, too."

Thorin felt his heart still for a moment and then he drew Bilbo back to him and held on tightly.

"Who's holding my Pellelee if you're here." Bilbo asked between his sobs.

Thorin frowned slightly.

"Who is Pellelee?" He asked softly.

Bilbo pulled away to look at him and then to where his hand rested against stone.

"The child I failed." Bilbo whispered.

Thorin found his eyes looking closer at the stone they sat beside and felt his heart break as it had when he'd been told that Bilbo was gone and thought that meant Bilbo was dead and beyond his reach forever.

"Our child?" He asked, voice rough and breaking.

"I'm sorry." BIlbo sobbed again and curled forward to bury his face in his knees.

Thorin wrapped his arms around Bilbo and held him close, burying his own face into Bilbo's curls.

"How-" Thorin stopped, the how or why meant nothing, what mattered was that Bilbo had been alone with the grief that came with losing a child.

Losing a child, wheteher grown or a babe, was a time when family gathered around mother and father, and sibling of the child if there were any, and grieved the loss of a family member. When a child was lost in Dwarrow culture no one mourned alone, even if the one lost was the only remaining family then friends of the Dwarrow left behind would gather around them.

"I carried him within me until we reached Rivendell. After Elrond removed him from me he told me that he'd starved within me." Bilbo whispered, as he sat up to lean his head on Thorin's chest. "Something during the Battle made the afterbirth detach from my womb."

Thorin rested his cheek against Bilbo's hair as he gazed at the stone coffin that held their child as he rocked with Bilbo.

"You should not have been alon ein this." Thorin whispered.

"I had no place on the Battlefield." Bilbo said, "I killed him."

"No. Dwarrow have a difficult time carrying children, we lose them before birth often. His loss was not your fault." Thorin told Bilbo, "I am sorry that I was so far into madness that you feared telling me I was to be a father."

Thorin pressed a kiss to Bilbo's temple/

"I was not aware that we were to be parents." Bilbo admitted quietly, "I did not know he was there until he was gone."

Thorin felt tears fill his eyes.

"I'm sorry." Bilbo whispered again.

"I am sorry as well." Thorin returned, "You named him Pellelee?"

"It means 'Beautiful Soul' in Hobbitish, I knew no Dwarrow words to give him a secret name in your tongue." Bilbo whispered.

"Thank you for attempting to honor my traditions."

"He is your son too, a part of me hoped that Mahal would give him to you if he was put to rest the Dwarrow way. I did not want him to be all alone. But if you are here whohas Pellelee?" Bilbo asked.

"My mother, my brother, and all of my kin and yoru parents. Mahal would not be so cruel as to allow Pellelee to be alone nor would his wife." Thorin assured Bilbo.

"What happens now?" Bilbo asked, looking at the coffin.

"I have business in the Blue Mountains, I had hoped you would join me, that we could repair what I broke but I would not ask you to leave our Pellelee. No Dwarrow would." Thorin told Bilbo, "Not even for a One."

"But you cannot stay." Bilbo aknowledged.

"I cannot stay." Thorin confirmed.

"Could we take him to Erebor with us?" Bilbo asked quietly, "When we returned to the Shire I didn't have the heart to bury him in darkness." Bilbo explained.

"That could be possibe. We could lay him with my forefathers in the Mountain, he would not be alone then."

Bilbo nodded, his free hand taking Thorin's hand.

"I can't go to the Blue Mountainswith you. I need to arrange things here so I can stay in Erebor."

Thorin nodded, "I will ask Kili and Bofur to stay with you. You should not be alone in your grief."

"It has been almost five years." Bilbo said.

"And you were alone, a parent's grief over the loss of their child never ends." Thorin returned, "They will stay."

"How will we tell them?" Bilbo asked.

"I don't know." Thorin replied as a thought occured to him, "You gave our son a secret name, did you give him an outer name?"

Bilbo shook his head, "I did not know what name to give, I thought, perhaps, you would give him one if Mahal gave him to you."

"The mother gives both secret name and outer name." Thorin explained.

Bilbo thought, "Tarin then."

"Tarin, it is a good name." Thorin said.

There was silence between them, taking comfort with eachother and Bilbo let his eyes close.

"What are you two doing out here?"Dwalin asked, "We've been waiting for you for awhile, Thorin."

Thorin looked up at his old friend and realized that Bilbo was asleep against him, hand still touching the stone next to them.

"Collect the rets of the Company." Thorin ordered.

"We cannot just kidnape him, king or not." Dwalin scowled.

Thorin shook his head, "No, there is something else and I want Bilbo to remain sleeping, tell them so."

Dwalin frowned but went to the others and brought them, all of them expressing concern for Bilbo whne they saw him sleeping.

"What is it?" Balin asked.

"Bilbo lost a child alone." Thorin whispered.

Every Dwarrow gained a look of horror upon their features.

"Yours?" Ori asked him, mostly for clarification for when Bilbo had lost the child.

Thorin nodded.

"The name?" Balin found voice to ask.

"Outer name: Tarin, secret name Pellelee." Thorin told them, surprising them by trusting them with the child's secret name.

"Bilbo considers us all family." Bofur said, "He told me so. Tonight he said he missed us."

They all nodded.

The secret name does not sound familiar." Dori said.

"It is in Hobbitish." Thorin explained.

"Bilbo is remaining here then." Dori said.

"The child was laid to rest as Dwarrows are." Thorin motioned to the stone coffin before them, "Bilbo wants to take him to Erebor with us."

"Aye, we'll make it happen." Dwalin said gruffly.

"Who is staying with Bilbo while you go to Ered Luin?" Nori asked.

"I have to go with Thorin." Ori said, almost said.

"Kili and Bofur for sure." Thorin said.

Kili nodded seriously as did Bofur.

Bifur and Dori also demanded to stay.

"You cannot spare more, yoru sister will be angry enough that you left four of your guard." Dwalin said.

Thorin nodded, "You will also hep him pack what he wishes to take."

They nodded.

\-----

Bilbo never thought he would see Erebor again but there it was.

Thorin rode beside him and like the first time Bilbo had brought Pellelee to rest somewhere Bilbo's hand had not left the stone surrounded his child except to sleep.

The Dwarrows that had joined Thorin to journey to Erebor had been confused until one of the Compan explained and then there had been understanding.

They entered the Mountain and Dori, Dwalin, Fili and Bifur lifted the small coffin as Thorin pulled the crown wearing Dwarrowdam along gently when she would have stopped him.

Bilbo walked with Pellelee as they continued deeper into the Mountain, others joining the prosession as word spread about what was happening.

Dwalin and Bifur led them to an area where sun entered the tomb room and settled the small coffin between two larger ones.

Thorin moved to stand next to Bilbo who stayed by the coffin as Bifur, Dwalin, Fili, and Dori went to stand with the rest of the Company and the Dwarrowdam that had walked with Thorin stepped forward and began to speak, Bilbo didn't hear a word that was said, leaning into Thorin and closing his eyes.

There would be things to be doen tomorrow but for now Bilbo took comfort in Thorin's presence.


End file.
